In a world like this, which we all have to live in, we often find it hard to accept certain situations for what they are. Not everything can be understood, explained, or even changed. Many paths are rocky, many decisions are difficult, and some burdens must be carried for longer than one could ever have expected.
As the saying goes: There’s nothing in this world that comes easy. Everything that truly matters – trust, love, patience, maturity, or inner strength – usually arises from trials, disappointments, or experiences that shape us. Yet it is precisely in these moments that the depth of life reveals itself: that people do not grow only on good days, but often especially on the difficult ones.
Recently, I read something that really got me thinking. The words stirred something within me, as if a process had been set in motion deep within my thoughts – one that was necessary to bring about real change.
Sometimes you come across phrases or thoughts that don’t just touch you for a brief moment but continue to work within you. They put their finger on something that may have been slumbering within us for a long time. And that is precisely when this change begins – not on the outside, but first on the inside, in our thinking, our hearts, and our view of ourselves and how we live.
The phrase was: “Learn to accept the things you cannot change, have the courage to change the things you can change, and the wisdom to distinguish one from the other.”
This quote can touch upon one of humanity’s deepest inner struggles, perhaps prompting us to ask ourselves: “What should I make peace with, and what should I continue to fight for?”
Most people suffer not only when facing very serious problems, but often also when they try to control things that are beyond their power. Things like the past, other people’s behavior, injustice or illness, loss through death, or other unpleasant events. And that is precisely where discouragement, bitterness, anger, or despair can sometimes arise.
And that is exactly when we must say: “Do not give up but recognize your limits and do not waste your strength on things that God has not placed in your hands.” This is precisely what Jesus Christ spoke about, and the Bible generally has a great deal to say on the subject.
For example, in Matthew 6:25, 27, we read an appropriate statement by Jesus Christ: “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life… Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?”
In this way, Christ shows us that people often desperately try to grasp hold of things they cannot control at all. At the same time, the Bible also teaches us not to live passively.
God said in Joshua 1:9:
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”
And in Romans 12:21, Paul wrote: “…overcome evil with good.”
This means: Acceptance does not mean approving of everything. Humility is not weakness and letting go does not mean indifference. The difficulty lies in recognizing: When do I continue to fight out of love for the Truth, and when am I merely fighting out of disappointment, pride, anger, or a wounded ego?
The Bible strongly links this wisdom with humility. Solomon wrote in Proverbs 3:5:
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding…”
Humans often see only a small piece of the mosaic, while God sees the whole picture. And that is precisely why we should not seek our peace in wanting to control or determine everything, or in impatiently demanding something that is not our responsibility, but rather, in trusting completely that God will ultimately make everything right.
In Philippians 4:11-13, Paul wrote:
“Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
This is precisely what deep spiritual maturity looks like. Not every external situation should be allowed to influence and dictate our inner peace. Sometimes, of course, people cling to things—to friends and family, to times past, to recognition, to control, or to ideas about life—even though much of it has long since been broken and is even predestined.
Yet it is precisely this desperate clinging and controlling that can often cause even more harm.
Solomon describes something similar in Ecclesiastes 3:1 with the words: “To everything there is a season” – a time to build and to tear down, to gain and to lose, to hold on and to let go.
This is often difficult because people seek security. Yet spiritual maturity is often shown in the realization that we do not have to control or change everything to find peace.
And perhaps this is the hardest lesson of our lives: God wants us to learn to accept the fact that not every wound heals, not every question is answered, and not everyone acts justly – and that we must not let our hearts become discouraged or hardened because of it.
Initial translation: Daniel Blasinger